Sekhmet, Pandemics and BTS

This blog is a little BTS to share what I’ve been experiencing through the COVID-19 upheaval. It’s how I’ve been affected and how I’ve coped. There’s been a lot to juggle and navigate and while I’m a very private person, my blog is here with the intention that by sharing with you scenes from my life, you might find inspiration for your own.

In the beginning….then it all changed

I’ve been living through a pandemic. A world-wide pandemic which means that you have been living through a pandemic with me. It’s been a ride, hasn’t it? When 2020 was new and full of promise I pulled my cards for the year and looked forward to what was to come with optimism. I traveled solo to the Red Sea and enjoyed so much just walking along the shores and being out in the desert, going horseback riding, seeing ancient temples and watching the stars light up the sky, the full moon rise over the sea, and the sun set over the mountains clouded with sand from all the wind. I had escaped to find space to breathe from the confines of winter, feeling isolated and going crazy inside. When I came home, the world changed and everyone had to stay home, isolated. The trip was one of my last memories of “normal” and “freedom” and I feel very blessed to have gone when I did.

For the past 5 years now I’ve lived alone (Wow! That’s a crazy-pants long time!) The in-home-lock-down and #stayathome situation, however, felt different. It helped that I wasn’t the only one going through all of this and that we were all going a little stir-crazy together. I enjoyed watching everyone go live on social media and the ways in which the entertainment industry kept us all entertained. There was something fun about seeing everyone in their home broadcasting the news and reading monologues with their kids being silly in the background. We were all on the outside looking in to each others’ lives. It also felt like we were on the inside looking out….like people wanting to believe there’s intelligent life outside of their world and hoping to make contact!

A few times I went live on Facebook and played my harp. I took the time for some self-portrait concepts I’d had for a while. I stayed on course with my business plan of two emails/month and talked on the phone a lot. I felt lucky that I had the opportunity to go out to my farm twice a day to feed and take care of the animals since my husband-ex-husband was driving a semi to support us. Being at the farm and with the horses and dogs and sheep was a place I could really sink into. I could listen to Fred crunch on her hay while I sat in the stall with her. I could bury my fingers deep into the wool of the shy sheep who learned to come to me for a back-scratch when she finished eating. I could stand under the sky in a familiar place that hugged me back. It is always bitter-sweet but I love it there.

Survival mode

As much as I put out into the world during those first few months, behind the scenes I sometimes struggled to concentrate. I alternated between not being able to sleep and not getting enough sleep. Mostly, it was the ability to stay focused that was a struggle so I learned to give my Self a break and looked for ways to just enjoy something I loved. Most of the time, that involved my camera and chasing the light in my house. As I write this, I wondered why I didn’t take my camera to the farm more often as I used to enjoy spending hours taking pictures of the horses but then I remembered that the weather more often than not was not pretty and it was cold and grey and the horses were muddy. It wasn’t glamorous but I still loved spending time with them…I just have cell phone pictures instead.

Through the Window

My brain was struggling and bless her heart for fighting and figuring out how to channel my creativity to ease the struggle. I went visual and thought about this historic time we were all in and how to document it. Some photographers were doing “Porch portraits” and would have everyone come out on their porch while they took pictures from the street/sidewalk….but I wanted a more intimate story that we could all really relate to. I figured out a way to work through it by taking pictures of people in their homes through their windows. Since we were supposed to be staying away from each other, what better way to do that than become a paid peeping Tom? I started with a few family members and friends then had a couple of paid sessions. Everyone seemed to love the concept but couldn’t see how it would work for them so I didn’t get a lot of sessions paid, but for me….yes, the grocery money was great to have but the mental aspect of it and being able to see people and create fun and memorable images together was priceless to me. I shared the concept with a fellow photographer in CA and I think she had better luck with it, but I did get on the local news, so there’s that :)

The Online “pivot”

Everyone it seemed jumped into the online scene and the catch phrase for entrepreneurs became “pivot”. Although teaching more online was something I really had been wanting to do, I was a little late to the game on this one compared to others. The BTS issue for me was the difficulty concentrating so I just went slowly, thought about how to do it, and started when I was ready. I’m so glad I did it this way! I feel that once I was able to get started, that things flowed and the courses were succinct, to the point, and packed with insight and information. Plus, I was making meaningful connections with people from all over the world which certainly helped fight off feelings of isolation!

To recap, I held two LIVE! classes on the goddess Hathor, put together a full online course on Hathor (that’s still up and running), and an Egyptian calendar/New Year LIVE! class so far. I’m putting together a full online course on Sothis (the star that held so much importance to the Ancient Egyptians) available in late August, and will also have available soon a series on Egyptian studies 101 that will offer a rounded look at all.things.Egypt. With the cancellation recently of our annual women’s retreat, Normandi and I also have some online classes that we’re preparing for you all. There will be more to come, but I’m building these slowly so that they’re full of information and so that you can get the most out of them visually, audio-ly (that’s a word, right?) and have meaningful practical applications to bring it all together in your life.

#Celebrate_Diversity

The situation surrounding George Floyed, Brianna Taylor and others has also really hit my heart and I started a photography project to #Celebrate_Diversity because I think it’s important to see the beauty of one’s skin and to celebrate it. So far, I’ve worked with two black people, two Hmong’s, three Iranians, and one Latino. I’ve really enjoyed seeing their pride in their skin and their culture and their traditional clothing as well as their “every day” accomplishments and personality.

I tried to keep the setting simple, to create them as art and to let their personalities shine through. It’s quite an honor when someone comes to sit in front of my camera and shares their spirit so openly with me. I feel so blessed to have their trust in my vision and willingness to be a part of it.

Throughout this year, I’ve learned to find a few points of light, focus on those and be flexible with the rest. I’ve had to make some date changes on events and our tour to Egypt, but I feel confident that things will turn around and we’ll be able to go in September 2021. I’m focusing on personal projects and inviting you to join me in my classes and workshops (not gonna lie, I appreciate the grocery money, thank you so much!). I’m trying to do better at posting on social media and sharing IG stories as a way to connect. I’m connecting with friends in little bits and shooting more film for fun.

Is there Egyptian wisdom to share?

Yes. There always is and I thought I was going to just share my muggle life with you here….silly me! Let’s talk about pandemics, pestilence, disease, chaos and the key players in Ancient Egypt who were well-known for their role in making sure Ma’at had a little job security.

Sekhmet is a lion-headed goddess who is part of the Memphite Triad with her consort Ptah, and their son Nefertem. Her shrine is still intact at the temple of Karnak in Luxor and to stand before her image is truly an experience like none other. Each time I have had the honor to visit her in her shrine, she has spoken to me directly to “Stand up!” and “Hold your head up!” I think it’s not that she’s trying to be mean and bossy but that she’s trying to impress on me to be strong. Her name comes from the word sekhem which means “power” and she’s a pretty no-nonsense kind of goddess who doesn’t have time for wishy-washy ideas or doing things in a half-hearted way. Don’t get me wrong…she compassionate, not an authoritarian dictator. She leads the way by her example and by looking at her image, standing tall with her gaze looking confidently toward the horizon we can invoke this kind of sekhem, or power, into our own lives.

She encourages decisiveness, action, and confidence. Is there something you’re wanting to do? She encourages you to do it! Is there something you want to change? She encourages you to change it! Is there something you want to accomplish? She encourages you to do what it takes to accomplish it! See your Self as powerful and in control of what you can control and see through the fears, indecisiveness, and disempowering thought patterns to move forward with confidence.

Sekhmet is a goddess of not only creation, but also of destruction. She’s a goddess not only of healing but of disease. She’s a goddess of protection but also of wrath. During these times, I feel that Sekhmet is lovingly reminding us that things may only look like they are in a state of chaos on the outside while in truth, things are truly falling into place. There’s an order to the Universe and while I don’t even begin to understand many times what the Big Picture is in all of it, I trust. I trust that things will fall into place….but just because I trust, doesn’t mean I don’t try to do my part in keeping Ma’at! There are things we can ALL do to make the world around us a better place and while it may seem a little thing to take pictures and teach online classes, there’s something wonderful taking place in those moments that helps to bring joy and togetherness.

Sekhmet is just the goddess to help us feel fired up to get things done, to let go of things we can’t control and focus on things we can. She can help us with our appetite for life and motivate us to get things done! All that extra time alone….have you cleaned all the drawers out in your house yet? Have you learned more about a subject that interests you? Have you faced your demons and overcome hardships yet again? Have you been both retreating inward and reaching out to others?

Within this duality, we see this also in her aspect as a solar goddess who rules the power of the moon by way of her reflection on it. You can work with the waxing and waning of the moon in your life and still be working with the solar power of Sekhmet!

One of the things about Sekhmet, too, is that as a goddess of pestilence and one who was called to bring about destruction to the enemy of the king, she is also the one to call on for mercy and assistance and healing. Who better to heal the pain and cure the disease than one who understands its origins? Who better to bring about well-being than one who understands illness?

All of this is Sekhmet. She’s the duality of life. She’s the part of us that is both on fire and quenched. She’s the part that ruthlessly clears things out and hangs onto the memories. She’s the part that is in control and the part that seems to be uncontrolled. She’s our sense of power and our willingness to surrender.

Soon, there will be a full course on Sekhmet and some smaller classes that will be filled with all of this and more. Stay tuned for those and in the meantime, may you enjoy the presence of Sekhmet and her ability to heal, bring determination, and empowerment to your life each and every day.

From my heart to yours,