Finding your Joy

There's something profound that happens in the midst of the simple things because there's that split second when you remember. You remember your joy, you remember your essence, you remember your purpose and your destiny and everything makes sense. Sometimes these moments last for only that split second and sometimes they linger like the scent of smoke rising from a fire surrounded by stones under a night sky. The past few weeks, I’ve really been exploring this and feeling into it and I’ve got some resources for you to use to find your joy, if you’ve lost it somewhere along the way.

2020 was a tough old bird, I’ll give her that! Not only did I experience firsthand Covid in December, I’ve also experienced the aftermath. For a while after recovery, if I’m going to be #real, I felt a bit crazy at times, wading through overwhelming emotions of fear/isolation/confusion; I struggled to be my own cheerleader when I had moments of overwhelm. In the middle of that I held on tight to the magic of Egypt. I don't say that to be cliche.....I say that because that's my truth. Everything that I've been working on and putting together has given me such joy in the middle of my "freak-out" moments and helped me to regain my sanity. I've connected with friends who love Egypt and the magic she holds and it's in those conversations I feel "normal" and at "home". These friendships have in and of themselves been so guided by Egypt and all that she has in store for me! In the midst of my own CrazyTown, I do feel incredibly blessed.

As the world around me began to open up and warmer weather was becoming part of the “new normal”, I still felt the magic of Egypt but I was also feeling into what it was I needed to feel a greater sense of wholeness. As I wrote about before, our brains are incredible parts of our Self that are always trying their best to find a way out of our pain and discomfort. My brain was working hard to define what it was I was feeling so that it could get a better handle on how to move out of it. I realized I was missing people, family, friends, and a sense of freedom. I felt a great need to be outside rather than working tirelessly through books and material for the online business I built during my year of quarantine. My little brain was trying to figure out how to “fix” these issues and here are some of the things I changed in my daily life to find a greater sense of wholeness, feeling grounded and that everything was okay.

Horsing around

As you may have noticed, I love horses….I always have. Although I have regular access to my horses and animals, leaving my horses “behind” has been one of the hardest parts of moving from my farm. There’s nothing like waking up and just walking out your backdoor to go to the barn and finishing up with them at night and crawling into bed knowing they’re just outside the house. When I’m at home working, I noticed that I have a bit of an adrenaline rush going on to stay on top of All.The.Things and to get everything done. It takes me a while to unwind and let go but when I’m with my horses and at the farm, I can physically notice this softening.

I haven’t been able to ride Fred for 4 years now due to her arthritis and age and on my trip to the Red Sea where I ran with a beautiful Arabian stallion across the sand like we were racing the wind, I felt so in touch with my Self! I realized that I needed that in my life so my little brain began working on fixing that. The previous summer I took some lessons at a local barn but didn’t really feel like I needed lessons….I just needed to be able to ride. This spring, I reached out to the woman and her husband who trained some of our horses to ask about riding/leasing a horse and she said, “I have the perfect horse for you! He’s 30 years old but we’ve known him since he was 4 and he’s sound and would be perfect for you!” I asked what his name was and she said “Bogie”.

Bogie is a cute little Connemara pony from Ireland….he came to the States when he was four years old! He’s not very big but then again, neither am I. He’s smart and old and grey…like me! It’s an hour from where I live but my farm is on the way so I go out to ride a couple of times a week and can work in a visit to my farm, family and animals too.

Last week while I was driving out to ride, I noticed that as the landscape opened up to fields and sky so did my body. I was feeling relaxed and breathing deeper. I found a piece of my joy.

“Me time”

Building an online business during the pandemic was great and I still love it, but I can also get really involved with how …. involved one needs to be with posting and sharing and marketing. This is all on top of my own learning and diving into my practice and understanding, which can sometimes get to be overwhelming because I know that it would be easy to stay in my house and work 24/7. I had to during the lockdown but now that things are opening up and the weather is getting nicer, I don’t want to do that.

As an entrepreneur you can set your own office hours, and so I’m doing that, too. Along with making sure I visit my farm and go riding on Bogie, I take time off from work and spend time in my own yard or going for a bike ride or just relaxing in front of the tv for an hour in the evening to enjoy all the Ancient Egypt videos on YouTube! Time management has been key and although I feel like I’m still trying to master it, I find that it helps. I tap into my neteru guides Thoth and Ma’at to help me work with my time and finding a good balance between work and play.

One evening I was dead-heading my flowers and watched a bumblebee visit the blossoms. I sat there on the sidewalk watching her stick her head all the way into the flower, using her front legs to go as deep in as she could….it was really fun to watch her! Then I went out back to my herb garden and decided it was time to trim back my sage plant because it was taking over. I didn’t feel right tossing the trimmings, so I sat on my back deck and pulled the leaves and began to make sage bundles. I had never done that before but really had a great time doing it….I felt like a little girl who lost track of time while she enjoyed the simple act of making something from the pretty things in her yard.

Time with family and friends

During the pandemic, I was truly alone a LOT and through that I realized how important it is to me to be a part of my family. Not that we didn’t speak but we didn’t get together or hang out even sporadically like we did before. I enjoy a little alone time but being alone all the time isn’t good for me and makes my mind start playing tricks on me…I understand the psychology of using “solitary confinement” as a way to break the mind!

On the days I go to the farm, I try to make sure someone will be home so that I can see them and visit…or just hang out and chat before I go outside to the barn. I try to set up time to go shopping or lunch with friends; I try not to feel guilty that I’m not working because sometimes it feels like I’m just messing around. In those moments I remind my Self that I have a pretty solid work ethic and that I can always work from 6 pm - 8 pm if I’ve taken time during the day to be with friends or family.

Takeaways for you….

There's nothing like having the support and guidance of the neteru and I do hope that through the materials I present that you've felt them, too. Know that the neteru also understand that you’re a human and that there are things that you need that even they can’t fully fulfill, like personal companionship and doing things you love with those you love.

So, yes….continue your spiritual practice, learn and grow; continue to build your empire and go global with your success; continue to push your Self into trying new things…..but also: