My Grandmother’s Rocking Chair
This is a longer blog than usual, but …. it’s my way of honoring my grandmother, so grab a cup of tea and a blanket and settle in. As you read along wherever you are, may you get to know my grandmother, recall memories from your own family, and as always be inspired in some way.
My Grandmother
My grandmother, Doris, passed away from ovarian cancer when I was 16 in 1987. It was my first experience with death and it hit me hard. I never cried so much in my life and my eyes were swollen from all the tears. She had been sick for a long time but I really thought she’d get better. She was so beautiful even with her hair gone and her wigs a little crooked and her face pale from the treatments. To this day, I miss her and have her picture with my grandpa in my living room where I can see it every day. The photo is surrounded by my baby Shelby plant (it was given to me in that baby bootie container when my daughter Shelby was born), my horse statue, a candle that smells nice like she did, and a crystal.
Sometimes I think that no one loved me like my grandma. She always made sure I got a new Breyer horse for every birthday and Christmas, and it was always the one I wanted most of all. She loved to make things and I remember some of the Easter baskets she hand made for my sister and me. I think she got her ideas from magazines like Ladies Home Journal and Good Housekeeping….made from plastic milk cartons, filled with green Easter grass and candy, and decorated like an Easter rabbit with cotton balls glued all over it and felt ears and googlie eyes in just the right spots. She knew how to make things special so that YOU felt special. Not that my mom didn’t, but grandmothers are different when you’re little.
She’s been gone a long time now but I still remember the essence of her and I so admired her….just everything about her.
She was always so dressed UP and her makeup and nails were done and she wore beautiful jewelry, mostly gorgeous gold pieces that my grandpa gave her. Her makeup was in line with what was in and I remember all that blue eye shadow and maybe even false eyelashes. She liked to wear red lipstick and she topped off her amazing style with her perfume that floated in the air around her. I remember sitting with her when I was little and just petting her long painted fingernails, they were so smooth! As a girl I tended to chew my nails too much to ever have them as perfect as hers.
A need…an inspiration
Back in September I was hard up for money for my rent … and everything ….so I decided to put my Self and my talents out there and advertised on my Facebook pages that I was available for some mini family photo sessions and would offer special deals for the beautiful weather that was on tap for the weekend. My hard-earned optimism and talent were met with an unexpected herd of crickets. Sooooo…?? What to do?
What I felt like doing was both to lie in bed and be sad about things AND to use the beautiful weather and shoot some fun and amazing images. I decided I could lie in bed at night and should use the daylight I was being given to create something and keep my spirits up. So while lying in bed that Friday night I had a vision for some self-portrait work….because when there’s no one for you to photograph, you turn that camera around and create your vision your Self.
The rocking chair
My creativity knows no boundaries and I love such a variety of image types. I love black and white landscapes where the light and shadows play with your feelings. I love old film, vintage film, blurry film. I love gorgeous wedding dresses in mansions and tiny babies all swaddled and sleeping peacefully. Truly, I love all kinds of visual art!
On this occasion, my mind kept seeing a plain wooden rocking chair in a field with a big sky and me in a dress I had made for me while I was in China last year doing….IDK what exactly but something interesting and intriguing and maybe even off-the-wall-ish….just something different. The biggest problem so far in that vision was that I didn’t actually HAVE said plain wooden rocking chair so I had to decided to hit the thrift store the next day. I also called my mom to see if she had one stashed somewhere, like her attic. Doesn’t everyone keep a plain wooden rocking chair in the attic for special occasions?
Well, she didn’t have one but she said, “Hey. I have a rocking chair that belonged to your grandma. I’ve been meaning to get it reupholstered but haven’t yet. Would you like to have it?”
I don’t have a lot of furniture in my little house and so I said that I’d be by to get it. I stopped by the thrift store on the way there but of course there was no plain wooden rocking chair. It wasn’t meant to be and I started to work on reimagining my vision.
Once I got to my mom’s and saw it my vision started to reframe itself. The dress I was planning to wear was a perfect blue match and it was light enough for me to carry out to a field somewhere under a big sky. When she started to talk about where to have it reupholstered I stopped her. I liked it just the way it was. It had my grandma’s essence in that fabric and I wanted it left just the way it was.
We loaded it into my car and I headed home buzzing inside. Sunset was still hours away but I was champing at the bit to get out there. I started to get my hair and makeup done and all of the jewelry and props gathered together and put my dress on. Funny thing about that dress is that it’s not quite right and I can’t get the zipper all the way up in the back plus, I never know what shoes to wear with it. I slipped on some comfy shoes, deciding that I’d just go barefoot with the dress in the pictures. I loaded up all my cameras and tripod and props into the car and headed to the park.
The self-portrait session
Once there, I set everything out in the field I had scouted earlier and started taking some test shots. My camera can be operated wirelessly through my cell phone and that’s a great help in seeing what your image will look like and helping you know where to stand. I spent the next 45 minutes or so sitting in the chair, standing with the chair, etc. A boy and his mom rode by on their bicycles and she said to him, “There’s a real photographer!”
I had brought along the photo of my grandparents and wanted to take some pictures holding that as well, like some documentary photo-styled image from National Geographic or something like that.
In the end, I had a wonderful experience capturing my grandmother’s chair, her jewelry, her picture….and me.
A picture may say a thousand words but the process of remembering my grandma this way only said three.
LOVE. IS. FOREVER.
Egyptian end notes:
October is a time of holidays surrounding death and mourning….and celebrating their lives. We have our Halloween and Day of the Dead….and the Ancient Egyptians had their festival of the Lamentations of Isis and Nephthys. How can you honor those you love who are in spirit?
During these holidays, you can
make one of your grandmother’s “famous” recipes for your family gatherings
put together a special “Memories” table with pictures of loved ones in spirit
wear a piece of jewelry that was handed down to you from someone special
set aside special story time with family to share stories about loved ones who’ve passed away
listen to their favorite music if you know what that was
keep a tradition of theirs going in their absence