The Goddess Inside

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Who you really are....

So, how many times have you heard this statement? I know I’ve used it plenty in the past and even on my website copy for my Soul Songs….that they’ll help align you with “who you truly are.” Recently, however, I’ve had trouble with that phrase and all it insinuates and after receiving a comment on a photo of mine on Facebook, it hit me again and I thought I’d address it here. And of course, there’s some lovely Egyptian wisdom to connect with, too!

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Who you really are.... A. Auset Rohn

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Who are you anyway?

Over the past few years especially I’ve evolved quite a bit. I don’t say that with any sort of ego but rather that I’ve gone through some big life transitions. To say that my separation has impacted my thinking and choices is really quite the understatement and truly not many people know the depth of it. That’s okay with me but I want to talk about this phrase that gets used A LOT in the metaphysical world. “Being who you truly are” is a disservice to your Self. It implies that in this moment you’re not living up to your full potential as a human and that you’ve still got so much work to do to become really aligned with your much more evolved and angelic “True Self”.

Ummm…..You are you. Always. Period.

Even Dr. Seuss knew that and tried to teach us that, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

You may look a little different on the outside….your clothes may be a different style, your hair may be a different color, your shoes might all be high tops or high heels now….but you’re still YOU. You’ll always hold the essence of your soul inside of you and sometimes what surrounds it is you being tired and cranky, you being stressed and hangry, you being overcome with the giggles in a supposedly solemn moment, you blaring the radio to your favorite 80’s or 90’s band and singing at the top of your lungs.

To imply that you need to better your Self and embody “who you truly are” only serves to undermine your self esteem….and who needs to feel like that? Who needs to keep berating them Selves and feel as if they’re not being or doing “enough”?

Not me. Not you. Not ever.

Embracing this youer you

I received a comment on a photo of my Self on Facebook from an old dear friend. We used to hang out with the horses and go driving in our carriages and go to horse shows and it was just a really great time. The photo she commented on was a photo of me at the hair salon all dressed up and my hair all styled by my hairstylist. Her comment wasn’t made to be a jab and I didn’t take it seriously as that, but it did sting in a way that I immediately began to inwardly defend my Self and “who I was”.

The comment was, “Who are you?👀. You wear so many personalities so well. I still miss the muck the stalls, falling off horses, carriage driving you🙁.”

I thought a lot about how to answer her and if I even should answer but I decided to just say, “I still do that from time to time! 😁 Daily life is different now and I have to keep going forward”

I didn’t want to defend my Self, my clothing choices, my hairstyle or my personality but I wanted to make a statement that simply acknowledged that yes, life was different for me since my separation. There were lots of things about my old self that I miss but every time I go out to the farm to visit my animals and horses, I feel like my Self. I spend time cleaning stalls, filling water troughs, brushing the horses, fixing the electric fence. I wear my Timberland boots and Carharts and purple scarf with Tigger on it that belonged to my girls when they were like 8.

I can’t tell you how much I miss being there every day taking care of things and enjoying my farm. But I can’t focus on that because that’s not changing right now.

Life is different now and the only thing I would have liked to change is that I had asked him to move out. Besides leaving my home and my family, leaving my animals behind was another layer of pain but in that period of time, I had no other choice than to be the one who left. I now live in my hometown and enjoy taking care of my flowers and plants….they’ve become my animals and something to care for every day. I get to be more independent and figure out how to adjust to this new way of living that is so different from the past 20+ years.

When I’m at the farm there are parts of it that I love because it’s familiar and it still feels like home, and then those are the parts that make me very sad. I still feel at home there, under the sky in the middle of nowhere but right now I can’t live that life and I do the best life I can.

I’m still who I truly am.

  • Country girl at heart

  • Horse crazy

  • Dog lover

  • Sunset watcher

  • Vegan/Vegetarian

But I’ve also been able to embody these other parts of my True Self that I didn’t necessarily need to before….

  • Courageous

  • Strong

  • Resilient

  • Brave

  • Adventurous

An Egyptian Mysteries connection

The First Family, if you will, of ancient Egypt experienced similar life adjustments while retaining their “true self”. Isis, Osiris, and Horus all went through a separation of their family and individual experiences that left them looking different and adjusting to the way life became. Isis lost her husband and, even though she revived him … twice…she had to adjust to being in a separate world from him. She had to find her strength within her Self and take care of her business and at other times, head into the underworld to work with her husband there. While she mourned and healed from her heartache, she didn’t look the same as she had torn out her hair and covered her Self with dirt and her tears. Once she regained her strength and power, she looked similar yet different from the way she looked before. She looked different, but she was still her true self.

Osiris was killed, twice, and the second time he was revived he was missing his male member so Isis created one for him to bring him back to life as much as possible. He had a different body part and didn’t look the same and he didn’t live in the same place and he had to reinvent him Self and his vocation a little bit to adjust to this new life. He lived in a different place and couldn’t go back to the way life was where he was so happy but he was still his true self.

Horus, the son of Isis and Osiris, was a powerful warrior who suffered many battle scars from his uncle Set. When his uncle tore out his eyes, Horus received a new set of eyes from the goddess Hathor. Once his battles were over, his focus shifted and he began a new life, with new eyes and a new love. His scars healed and his eyes healed but he didn’t look the same and didn’t see the world around him quite the same, but he was still his true self.

The ancient Egyptians believed that we were all Divine and in living our day to day life, that is divine as well. We work, we live, we struggle, we survive, we thrive, we go on breathing and going forward when going back is not an option. We experience great loss and our health is compromised and we heal. We start out again on our own, find new love, build a new life, plant new flowers, develop new friendships. There’s so much beauty and strength in that, don’t you think?

We may want things to stay the same but eventually things always change in one way or another. Even though I can’t fit into my favorite pair of bellbottom jeans from the 80’s, I’m still me. I still carry all of those experiences I had while wearing those jeans to make me who I am today and the best part is that I can get a new pair of bellbottom jeans and have new experiences. I’m a little different in places but I’m still my true self.

So, there you have it.

You are YOU. Always. Even if life looks different and you’ve had to adapt because the old life doesn’t quite fit anymore. Even if you look different on the outside there’s always that heartbeat of you on the inside.

Thank you for being you and being here with me!

Here’s to being “who you really are” in the new year and beyond!